What is this feeling?

again, i posted this cuz i dont have anyone else to talk to.
i dont even know what am i about to write,
i just know that i cant keep it inside anymore.

i realized something this morning at school (18/7/12)
i am no longer able to talk to u like i used to b4,
i dont know why, but as i tried to say something to you,
the words just cant get out from my mouth, 
n the nervous feeling inside me r getting worse when u’re near,
like today, u’re just beside me n i feel like dying actually,
but i tried to control myself not to faint as i dont want others to worry bout me especially nadia, she cares too much about her friends.
i feel so stupid,
how am i gonna get u if i am too scared even to just say hi to u?
Ya Allah, tolonglah aku,bagi aku kekuatan utk berhadapan dgn dia,

tapi, td zur ada ckp,
aku kena pecahkan ketakutan aku, lawan dia!
aku harap aku mampu,
buang segala ‘tapi’ yg aku wujudkan dlm minda aku.

anyone if u’re reading this,
pls pray for me.
pray for her.
n pray for us.